A helping hand from Microsoft

I came into work today and was oh-so-delighted to see a squeaky clean brand new Microsoft wireless laser keyboard 6000 v.2 and mouse. It is just grrreat. I hope this will help in reducing the pain in my wrists and arms.
It was rated a scorching hot 9 out 10 in Cnet user reviews. The curved style encourages natural wrist position and movement and eases discomfort and pain. Fantastic!

Free Starbucks coffee

Don't forget to run to your local Starbucks to grab your free coffee today. This offer is available between 2 and 4pm.

And for those of you living in Stinge City, begging for free coffee all the time, click here to find out how to get free Starbucks coffee.

Bald Britney Spears

I placed a bid to buy Britney Spears' hair. The Ebay ad for her hair was taken down for no reason, and now Esther's haircutting studio are selling the hair. Bids start from $1 million. The winner will not only get Britney Spears' hair, they will also get the empty can of Red Bull she drank from during the process, the hair cutting tools, and her fag lighter too! Now that is good value for money. Naturally, I placed a bid for a ridiculous amount. Let's see what happens now. And here she is, the Pop Princess, Britney Spears.

Can anyone guess whose resume this is?

EDUCATION / Qualification:
1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College,Cambridge,
1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge,
1957; DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India's export competitiveness

OCCUPATION / Teaching Experience:
Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;
Reader, Economics, 1959-63;
Professor, Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65;
Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics,University of Delhi, 1969-71;
Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University,New Delhi,
1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1996 and Civil Servant

Working Experience / POSITIONS:
1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance
1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India; Director, Industrial Development Bank of India;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD
November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs);
Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space
Commission April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee
September 16, 1982 - January 14, 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank of India.
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of governors, International Monetary Fund
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister
1985: President, Indian Economic Association
January 15, 1985 - July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva
December 10, 1990 - March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister oneconomic affairs
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996: Union finance minister
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance
August 1, 1996 - December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce
March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha
June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance
August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges
2000 onwards: Member, executive committee, Indian parliamentary group
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee

BOOKS:
India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -ClarendonPress, Oxford University, 1964; also published a large number of articles in various economic journals.

OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge, 1956
Padma Vibhushan, 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994

INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS:
1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform
1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna

RECREATION:
Gymkhana Club, New Delhi; Life Member, India International Centre, New Delhi

DOB: September 26, 1932
Place of Birth: Gah (West Punjab)
Father: S. Gurmukh Singh
Mother: Mrs Amrit Kaur
Married on: September 14, 1958
Wife: Mrs Gursharan Kaur
Children: Three daughters

Romantic? I think not.

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

1. Thought that I could love no other
That is until I met your brother.

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
Empty and so is your head.

3. Ah loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pi*sed.

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

10. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

11. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Dining at Las Iguanas

People of the 21st century please welcome Arfan & Ahmer

Heading straight to the top ten this duo will knock Itchy & Scratchy, Tom & Jerry, and Mickey and Minnie off the Cartoon Charts.