A healthy level of stupidity to break the day...

I stumbled into this new-age hippy-happy-healthy food café that was blasting a tune I love (which must remain a secret to uphold my quintessential musi-ac reputation).

Inside this cave of a café I noticed the staff behind the counter seriously overcome by jolted dance steps – so of course I joined in too. Before I knew it, my body was violently throwing itself from wall to table ...and just like a diligent puppet I danced, raged and turned the whole thing into some 80's revival music video. I sang like Prince and acted out the words like Jack Sparrow on speed (which I should regret but don’t). And this is the best bit; for my stupidity and fearlessness I bagged a free lunch, a coffee, and even a couple of new equally kewl n krazy friends.

I can only wonder what will happen today… hmm

This is exactly why a blog is better than Facebook

Blogging = Ranting ....

As I entered the Carnaby St Starbucks this morning, my fists clenched, my forehead drew lines, my lips tightened. I was ready for a fight, a fight for justice, a fight for my right to taste a real hazelnut latte. I ordered my drink, breathed deeply to calm down, and waited patiently. Glancing over the counter, staring at the Barista, I prayed and hoped that they would make the effort to make my drink right, 'Just this once - please make it right' is all I could think.

The barista yelled "Tall hazelnut latte, Tall hazelnut latte, Tall hazelnut -"
I interrupted with a "Thanks" accompanied with a half smile that was all to ready to kill, if the drink was wrong.

I began to walk away, stared at the pitiful customers eagerly queuing for coffee and secretly thought "Don't waste your time, they will make it wrong"
And then, my legs stopped, I sat down, who cares if I have to get to work, this is far more important. I took a sip of my drink, and yes, you guessed it - they made it wrong! Even bees would be sick by the amount of syrup in that coffee.

By now my mind was like an overworked time machine, clogging away at every angry emotion that had been born in this very Starbucks that refused to make my drink correctly. I sat there for a moment longer, and counted the times they had actually made my drink right. And what joy came to my mind - from the 20 or so times I have visited this thief, I had been served satisfactorily 3 times. Calculating further, it dawned on me how much money I had wasted. That was it for me - I had enough, and finally I had retreated to my 'I'm done' gravestone.

I quick stepped back into my office, sat down at my seat whilst my fingers raced through the numbers on my phone. Yes, luckily I have the Starbucks HQ number on my mobile! (Just for these moments).

I explained to the lady my problem, at first I was a little embarrassed by my seemingly 'me me me' complaint, but after the first stumbled sentence I was over it. In fact, I had shot to the top and felt like a dirty politician who was saving face. She empathised with my situation, and asked for my address to which I replied ..

"Listen, I don't need or want Starbucks vouchers, I don't even want you to write apologising for my bad experience. All I want is the expert Barista from HQ to get down to my local Starbucks ASAP and train the staff on how to make (a) Tall hazelnut latte (b) Grande hazelnut latte. I don't want anything else, so please don't bother. Just get onto this ASAP"

Thinking back, I guess she was surprised by my response, in fact, I think I am even surprised by that (I'm not one to turn away freebies). Alas, this is not about freebies, it's about certain standard that needs to be held, there is an underlying principle here somewhere, once I figure it out you will be the first to know.

Oh - I feel so much better now

Nowadays a typical email consists of:

To: blah blah blah
Subject: who cares
Content: A random string of words
Signature: Please consider the environment, do you need to print this E-mail?

As much as I agree with "Reduce, Reuse and Recycle", I prefer the following comment to close an email:

Please consider cyberspace, do you REALLY need to send me that damn forward?

A quck note for chappala

I will be going to Addis for the Ethiopian New Year in September, click here for more info.
I will be going to Goa for the New Year in December and January.

FOTY in London

"If you don't go out and get what you like, you will be forced to like what you get"

Saturday 7th April - Sunday 15th April

Highlights (inc food)

- All Bar One (Arrival lunch in Canary Wharf)
- Floridita (Cuban restarant in wardour street)
- Bar 38 (canary wharf)
- Wagamama (with Kaily and Ting)
- Pizza Express (Soho)
- Keegan's House party in St John's Wood
- Greenwich (Picture crazy in Pizza Express)
- South Bank (Cool kid who learnt a few tricks)
- Las Iguanas (Mexican food by Waterloo foot bridge and South Bank)
- Tower Bridge
- Natural History Museam
- Walking through the McDonald's Drive-thru
- Soho, Oxford Circus (shops and Selfridges)
- Carnaby Street (cool pictures of kids in black and white)
- Covent Garden (shirt shopping in Hawes and Curtis, 194 steps)
- Embassy (Karina, Clara, Vikal, Keegan and ryan?!?)
- Edgeware Road (Karina)
- Nandos (Very chilli Portuguese food)
- Cousins in Acton
- Mash Bar (In Oxford St with cousins)
- Chelsea (Moti Mahal)
- Easter service at Canning Town
- Shoreditch (Zigfrid (pictures of Microsoft family), Medicine Bar, 333)
- Agenda (Bank, with Al Varro)
- Holborn (Guanabarro and Cougar Pinks)
- The Breakfast Club (Departure lunch in Angel)

I miss my old door and the legendary gaselee girls

Carpe diem

Like a nagging husband this blog has screamed for attention.

Friends, collegues, neighbours, brothers, non biological sisters, stalkers, waiters, security, and even astronauts (wannabes) have been asking after my dear sickened blog.

"How is it? We have not read anything for months, is it okay?"
Breathe, survive, fight, peace, relax, reform.

"Yes, it is fine, currently it is touring around the globe, the recent postcard depcited alluring images from Ecuador, alright for some hey?"

And now the blog is back, fresh from holiday ... guess what ... it is my turn to jet off. Taking off into the sky, into infinti, up high and then collapsing like a rocket into a foreign land, unknown to mankind. It is a state of mind.

Recent events - Just because I know you care

FOTY was in town from NYC
Offered two acting roles (though one turned out to be a bit dodgy, to say the least)
Zillions of job offers - yikes!
CIMA studies
Moved out of London
Booked my trip to Addis Ababa (for new year celebrations!)
Met a few very interesting people
Caught up with my vintage friends
Developed a peculiar liking for Norris Benjamin Cole

I hope this is good enough? Sincere apologies go out to Ting, Neill, Brownie, Chappala!

A helping hand from Microsoft

I came into work today and was oh-so-delighted to see a squeaky clean brand new Microsoft wireless laser keyboard 6000 v.2 and mouse. It is just grrreat. I hope this will help in reducing the pain in my wrists and arms.
It was rated a scorching hot 9 out 10 in Cnet user reviews. The curved style encourages natural wrist position and movement and eases discomfort and pain. Fantastic!

Free Starbucks coffee

Don't forget to run to your local Starbucks to grab your free coffee today. This offer is available between 2 and 4pm.

And for those of you living in Stinge City, begging for free coffee all the time, click here to find out how to get free Starbucks coffee.

Bald Britney Spears

I placed a bid to buy Britney Spears' hair. The Ebay ad for her hair was taken down for no reason, and now Esther's haircutting studio are selling the hair. Bids start from $1 million. The winner will not only get Britney Spears' hair, they will also get the empty can of Red Bull she drank from during the process, the hair cutting tools, and her fag lighter too! Now that is good value for money. Naturally, I placed a bid for a ridiculous amount. Let's see what happens now. And here she is, the Pop Princess, Britney Spears.

Can anyone guess whose resume this is?

EDUCATION / Qualification:
1950: Stood first in BA (Hons), Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1952; Stood first in MA (Economics), Panjab University, Chandigarh,
1954; Wright's Prize for distinguished performance at St John's College,Cambridge,
1955 and 1957; Wrenbury scholar, University of Cambridge,
1957; DPhil (Oxford), DLitt (Honoris Causa); PhD thesis on India's export competitiveness

OCCUPATION / Teaching Experience:
Professor (Senior lecturer, Economics, 1957-59;
Reader, Economics, 1959-63;
Professor, Economics, Panjab University, Chandigarh, 1963-65;
Professor, International Trade, Delhi School of Economics,University of Delhi, 1969-71;
Honorary professor, Jawaharlal Nehru University,New Delhi,
1976 and Delhi School of Economics, University of Delhi,1996 and Civil Servant

Working Experience / POSITIONS:
1971-72: Economic advisor, ministry of foreign trade
1972-76: Chief economic advisor, ministry of finance
1976-80: Director, Reserve Bank of India; Director, Industrial Development Bank of India;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, Asian Development Bank;
Alternate governor for India, Board of governors, IBRD
November 1976 - April 1980: Secretary, ministry of finance (Department of economic affairs);
Member, finance, Atomic Energy Commission; Member, finance, Space
Commission April 1980 - September 15, 1982: Member-secretary, Planning Commission
1980-83: Chairman, India Committee of the Indo-Japan joint study committee
September 16, 1982 - January 14, 1985: Governor, Reserve Bank of India.
1982-85: Alternate Governor for India, Board of governors, International Monetary Fund
1983-84: Member, economic advisory council to the Prime Minister
1985: President, Indian Economic Association
January 15, 1985 - July 31, 1987: Deputy Chairman, Planning Commission
August 1, 1987 - November 10, 1990: Secretary-general and commissioner, south commission, Geneva
December 10, 1990 - March 14, 1991: Advisor to the Prime Minister oneconomic affairs
March 15, 1991 - June 20, 1991: Chairman, UGC
June 21, 1991 - May 15, 1996: Union finance minister
October 1991: Elected to Rajya Sabha from Assam on Congress ticket
June 1995: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
1996 onwards: Member, Consultative Committee for the ministry of finance
August 1, 1996 - December 4, 1997: Chairman, Parliamentary standing committee on commerce
March 21, 1998 onwards: Leader of the Opposition, Rajya Sabha
June 5, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on finance
August 13, 1998 onwards: Member, committee on rules
Aug 1998-2001: Member, committee of privileges
2000 onwards: Member, executive committee, Indian parliamentary group
June 2001: Re-elected to Rajya Sabha
Aug 2001 onwards: Member, general purposes committee

BOOKS:
India's Export Trends and Prospects for Self-Sustained Growth -ClarendonPress, Oxford University, 1964; also published a large number of articles in various economic journals.

OTHER ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
Adam Smith Prize, University of Cambridge, 1956
Padma Vibhushan, 1987
Euro money Award, Finance Minister of the Year, 1993;
Asia money Award, Finance Minister of the Year for Asia, 1993 and 1994

INTERNATIONAL ASSIGNMENTS:
1966: Economic Affairs Officer
1966-69: Chief, financing for trade section, UNCTAD
1972-74: Deputy for India in IMF Committee of Twenty on International Monetary Reform
1977-79: Indian delegation to Aid-India Consortium Meetings
1980-82: Indo-Soviet joint planning group meeting
1982: Indo-Soviet monitoring group meeting
1993: Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting Cyprus 1993: Human Rights World Conference, Vienna

RECREATION:
Gymkhana Club, New Delhi; Life Member, India International Centre, New Delhi

DOB: September 26, 1932
Place of Birth: Gah (West Punjab)
Father: S. Gurmukh Singh
Mother: Mrs Amrit Kaur
Married on: September 14, 1958
Wife: Mrs Gursharan Kaur
Children: Three daughters

Romantic? I think not.

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

1. Thought that I could love no other
That is until I met your brother.

2. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
Empty and so is your head.

3. Ah loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pi*sed.

5. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

6. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

7. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

8. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

10. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

11. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

12. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Dining at Las Iguanas

People of the 21st century please welcome Arfan & Ahmer

Heading straight to the top ten this duo will knock Itchy & Scratchy, Tom & Jerry, and Mickey and Minnie off the Cartoon Charts.

Daily rant

My name is not a spelling mistake! The producers of MS Word have indirectly accused my name (Manminder) of abusing the English language. I know this sounds rather pathetic, but I am committed neurotic memsaab.

It could be worse. Computers, people and computerised people could be howling Reji at me. To which I would reply (in true Reji style), my name is George, like the president.

Or it could be uber worse. My name could be Carly Tutty. And those in the know, know that that isn't good, if you know what I mean ; ) I hope Carly Tutty, an old classmate, doesn't Google her name and read this crap about her name.

Life, 23 years ago

Yes, all we had to do back then was sit down, shut up and smile!

CIMA exams

I've passed my CIMA Intergrated Management and Performance Evaluation exams ... !!!!

Yipppeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Only about 7 CIMA exams left now : (

Reji and Jeni

Looking for a job in Mental Health

My friend is looking for a job in Mental Health or related areas. Please reply in comments if you can help.

A Lady's Guide - turning down men gently...

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I'd rather have the money.

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.

HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.

HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

2007 Compatible Star Signs

Apparently Sagittarius women and Aries men make a perfect match (find out more here). I am a Sagittarius woman (naturally) and expect replies from an Aries : D

That will be all for now... too-da-loo

5 day summary: New York

I flew with Virgin Atlantic to New York and I think they're great, excellent service, good in-flight entertainment, and generally a zillion times better than Continental, American Airlines, Air India, US Airways, and British Airways. Besides, I like to promote the brand : )

I must warn the world and it's neighbour not to swap seats in the name of being a nice person. To hell with the nice person act, I was moved several times approached by 2 frustrated men who raised their voices at me and for what? All because I agreed to be a nice person and swap seats for two lovebirds! I spent 7 hours sorely sat in the middle of 6 people. Rule 1 being a nice person will get you nowhere, in fact it will get you sandwiched in shite.

Arriving into New York, I was pleasantly surprised by the warm weather. After several months of ongoing starvation for this City, finally I was back, back in New York, ready a new bag of tricks and scandal.

I came to New York for 3 reasons, to see my friends, have a break, and to shop. I've never been into the tourist scene in New York, meeting my friends alone is like visiting the New York Zoo!

Now I am going to list some of the folks I was hanging with. Please skip if you don't give a toss.

Vikram Kocher - The ultimate triple shot decaf Espresso
Saika Rahman - A piece of meat that fell in love with Tofu
Shafinaz Rahman - A spiced Octopus delicacy
Joseph Miller - The original American burger sold in Cuba
Rajat Kapoor - A Mixed green salad tossed in every continent
Matthew Hawke - Dom Perignon in the Cheltenham Golden Cup
Vikal Kapoor - An Eggplant curry wanting a roti from KFC
Reji George - Coca Cola Zero: all the taste without the mojo

I was staying with Vikram during my trip and it really felt like home, so a big thank you to Vikram for his hospitality. We had a blast, we ate, relaxed and laughed. I guess I should thank Reji for the laughs ; ) she has a weird way of keeping us entertained even when she's not present.

It was one big shopping pancake, I felt like I had the Adil Ditta on my right arm and hundreds on unlimited credit cards on my left. The sales were great, the Sterling strength was even better and the stuff on sale was totally awesome.

Unfortunately I had lost my voice for the duration of the trip. At first I whispered, then gave up and accepted my fate as the fly on the wall. I'm sure my friends enjoyed the silence, in fact Reji was loving it. Everytime I had the need to speak my body shaked furiously like Justin Timberlake, my face deflated and my mouth overtook the scene and all this parade to blurt a few words that didn't make sense. Vikal humored the masses with various impersonations whilst Jo made fun of my pathetic Salsa moves, like he is King of the South!

We all spent New Year's Eve at Tavern on the Green (in Central Park). It was a blast, though I was a lone ranger most of the night, I wonder why? Everytime I physically bumped into Reji she was all over Saika like Christmas wrapping on Cadbury's. I was like 'Give it a break girls, you are in public.' Vikal was nowhere to be seen all night, and when he did make a guest appearance he was fashioning his new girlfriend, Miss Motorola Razr. Matthew was kissing a horse outside for sometime, (a real horse) and then danced the night away with me me me me and me. Rajat, the composed gentleman stood around mingling and looking undisturbed by the hoards of crowds pushing and shoving their way to his feet. Vikram quenched his thirst with more than 3 bottles of bubbly, and was knocked out soon after. Shafinaz was floating around dancing and drinking the night away, though I didn't see much of her either.... ?!

My last night in New York ended with bribes for a massage : )

2 Bangladeshis, a White house, a Bowling Green, a Mary Land, and an Okla ho's man

Happy New Year

Yo Happy new year bleaders....

Yo New Year's Eve in New York is AWESOME! I am just having a blast....

Yo Beryl Brownie ... I miss you ... you should be here !!! Everyone knows about you and can't wait to meet you .....

Yeee Haaaa